Grief--Not Me! But is There a Right Way to Embrace You?

LOVE IS BOTH A NOUN AND A VERB

As a noun, love is something real — a feeling, a bond, a truth we hold in our hearts. As a verb, love requires movement. It must travel — from a source to a receiver, from one heart to another.

But what happens when that movement is interrupted?

In the wake of a loss that could be due to death, breakup, losing a friend, or even leaving a job that once gave us purpose, we often experience a deep, unshakable void. That absence doesn’t always show up the same way.

SHARED FEELINGS

Shortly after Easter, the world paused at the news of Pope Francis’s passing — a global spiritual figure whose influence reached far beyond religious lines. People from various walks of life — rich, poor, introverts, extroverts, Christians, Muslims, Atheists, even those who disagreed with him — expressed a wide range of emotions: sorrow, anger, reverence, and even indifference.

A week meant for celebration became one of reflection, proving once again that grief doesn’t wear just one face — it shows up in many forms.

LOSING A LOVED ONE (FOR THE FIRST TIME)

Think of the first time you’ve lost a family member or someone you considered family. Did you cry? Did you lose your appetite? Or, were you like me who didn’t feel anything much and thought something was wrong with you?

When my grandma died, I felt so wrong for eating the same way, walking the same way, sleeping the same way, and not feeling sad like all of my relatives. I must be wrong to be devoid of feelings when I have been known for my big feelings about everything else (e.g., crying over a puppy in a shelter waiting for their forever home level of feeler here!)

LAMENTING A NOW EX-FRIEND

I have this bubbly and generous friend who recently showed up without any energy until she snapped at a waitress because she didn’t agree with the restaurant's menu and pricing. I have never heard this friend be this mad nor mean before!

Come to find out, she had to let go of a friend who is not used to her setting boundaries. She was devastated by this loss, but you might argue, “How could she act that way when you’re losing a toxic friend anyway?

LEAVING A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP

You may be thinking someone who just broke up with her fiancée is weeping incessantly in front of the TV while devouring a tub of ice cream with bags of Doritos for contingency. However, I know exactly of a cheerful friend who travelled the world as though her wedding wasn’t cancelled recently. Was she heartless?

LEAVING A JOB YOU HATE ANYWAY

I received a call from someone I coached six months prior regarding the importance of discipline, strategy, and purpose. He is someone introduced by another friend as a highly talented professional who is working in a toxic company and in need of guidance. In our last conversation over the phone, he sounded sad and happy at the same time as he shares, “Maria, I finally quit my job! I started by business and sales are surprisingly good. But, I am still sad and find myself feeling empty at times. Weird, you know.”

You might be wondering why since doing so well on his business is like the best scenario after quitting a job the same day when he’s had enough. Many people working for survival in a toxic workplace could only interject, “Is he out of his mind?”

THE STAGES OF GRIEF

Grief doesn’t always look like tears or mourning at a funeral — sometimes, it’s feeling nothing at all after your grandmother’s passing and wondering if that makes you heartless. It’s a kind friend lashing out unexpectedly after cutting ties with someone toxic. It’s another friend who quietly booked a solo trip after her wedding was canceled, needing space more than sympathy. Or, the subtle ache of leaving a job that drained you, even when you know it was the right thing to do.

According to Grief Psychology, healing often unfolds in stages: DENIAL, ANGER, BAGRGAINING, DEPRESSION, and ACCEPTANCE (Kübler-Ross & Kessler, 2005). These stages aren’t linear, and they don’t arrive in order — we move in and out of them, sometimes without realizing it.

Embracing grief means acknowledging all of these expressions — even the ones that don’t look like grief at all. By giving ourselves space to feel what’s real, we allow grief to do its quiet, necessary work of healing.

As James Anderson poetically encapsulated, "Grief is love with no place to go," I add, "Loss wears many faces and so does healing."

Reference List:

Kübler-Ross, E., & Kessler, D. (2005). On grief and grieving: Finding the meaning of grief through the five stages of loss. Scribner.

Maria Soriano is a dynamic leader, storyteller, and advocate for courageous living. As the founder and CEO of Courage Creatives, she helps individuals break through fear, find clarity, and take bold, values-driven steps toward personal and professional growth.

Dubbed as the Courage Coach, Maria brings deep empathy and actionable strategies to those navigating life transitions. She is also a sought-after host and emcee for community and corporate events, known for her energy, presence, and authenticity.

A SHRM-certified HR professional with years of experience in talent development, Maria also leads GoodHire Recruitment, a boutique agency that connects purpose-driven professionals with mission-aligned organizations. Her work in career architecture and workforce well-being has empowered countless individuals to align their gifts with meaningful work.

In addition, Maria brings over a decade of experience in higher education and currently serves as an adjunct faculty member at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. She is also pursuing a graduate degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, further deepening her ability to support others with compassion and insight.

Her love for storytelling continues through The Courageously Speaking Podcast, where she hosts raw, unfiltered conversations on resilience, leadership, and growth. Outside her professional work, Maria is a singer-songwriter who often collaborates with her husband, using music to inspire connection and healing.

At the heart of everything she does, Maria champions courage — helping others embrace uncertainty, trust their instincts, and live boldly and authentically.